Kim Possible: Deadpool
by Unheard Flipper
Summary: Ron Stoppable has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has fled to New York to spare Kim the pain of watching him wither away. During this time Ron is contacted by the mysterious Weapon-X program who make him an offer he can't refuse. PERVIEW


**Kim Possible: Deadpool**

**Who am I?**

**You sure you want to know? **

**The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. **

**If someone told you it was a happy, little tale…****Then you need to tell me who said that kinda of crap !I mean I have an image to maintain here! So tell me who said my life was a happy tale, so I can beat his ass.** **Unless it Squirrel Girl. Seriously, if it's Squirrel Girl who's spreading these slanderous lies you would tell me right? I'm in no mood to go back there and get my ass handed to me by that flying rodent.**

**Hmm… Ro…dent. That is a great word there, almost on par with chimichanga, and spatula. Oh! And pancreas which reminds me I still have Agent X's around here somewhere! ****Hey Weasel! Where's X's pancreas?**

**Um… DP…**

**Yeah?**

**What about the story?**

**Story? Oh yeah sorry about that, my writer is usually better at introductions then this. **

…**What writer?**

**Never mind it's a fourth wall thing. Now on with my story. **

* * *

The dark, stinking run down bar, was many things to many people. It was a supplier to the bums fueling their alcohol addiction with the small amount of change they scraped of the streets during the day; it was a street corner to the old prostitutes looking to make a couple of bucks of drunken patrons. The bar was a meeting place for shifty characters and hooded gangsters, discussing, in low, excited voices, their latest score or sale. The bar was a hiding place to the down and outs, nursing their cheap, piss tasting beer in abject misery, while boys, barely older then eighteen, flashed obviously fake IDs.

But to Ronald Wade Stoppable, the bar was home. A place to drink and forgot his problems. He sat alone in a corner, his feet kicked up on the small table next to his glass of beer. If someone had told Ron that he would be spending the better part of his last two or three years of life left, hanging out in dingy bars and hunting down scumbags and drug dealers for Bail Agents, and sometimes other less honourable Agencies, Ron would have suggested that someone get their head shrunk.

_Amazing what a little thing like terminal cancer can do someone._

So Ron had done what he always did when he faced a problem. He ran. Wade's tracking chip had been shorted out by the Chemo therapy, so he never worried about Kim, or Wade tracking him down. As much as it had hurt him to break up with Kim, there was no way he was going to let her watch him waste away.

The patrons watched him out of the corners of their eyes. It wasn't that they feared him, they were cautious; after all, Ron's job was to track down gangbangers and drug dealers. All of who were armed, and not above attacking an enemy in public places. Several times Ron had been forced to kill his mark, not that it really bothered him any more, Ron had learned that a conscience had no place in this business, not that it really mattered to him. Kim had always been the moral one, and right now, a paycheck was a paycheck.

"Mr. Stoppable?"

_Yeah here we go for the hundred time  
Hand grenade pins in every line_

Ron glanced up. He was used to all sorts walking into this bar, but these two men in front of him surprised him. The two men were dressed smartly in three piece suites, that wouldn't look out of place in a business meeting, or even on the street. But in a bar like this?

"Yeah that's me."

"Mr. Stoppable, I'm Agent Smith. Joe Smith and this is Agent…"

"Hey! Aren't you Canadian Joe? The Janitor?"

Agent Joe Smith raised an eyebrow at the interruption, and glared at the young man, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Now as I was saying, I'm Agent Joe Smith, and this is Agent Matt Smith. Mr. Stoppable we have been sent to offer you a deal that would prove both beneficial to you and our organization."

_Throw 'em up and let something shine  
Going out of my fucking mind_

Now it was Ron's turn to raise an eyebrow at the two agents, as he waited for them to continue.

"You see Mr. Stoppable, we work for the Canadian Government's Department K. More specifically, the Weapon-X Program."

Ron didn't say a thing. It wasn't every day that a secret government agency came to you offering a deal. Even so Ron was still cautious and slowly lowered his hands, to the pistol he had strapped to his leg. Ron's movement did not go unnoticed.

"Please Mr. Stoppable, if we wanted you dead, you would be, for lack of a better term 'sleeping six feet under.'" Neither of the agents moved as Agent Matt Smith spoke, his grey eyes never leaving Ron for a moment.

_Filthy mouth, no excuse  
Find a new place to hang this noose  
_

"Now Mr. Stoppable, as I was saying," Agent Joe Smith continued, "as you no doubt have heard by now, mutants are emerging with growing frequency. This has left the governments of the world in a precarious situation."

Ron leaned back into his chair; of course he had heard the news. How could he not of. It filled newspaper columns, the evening news, even whispers on the streets. The mutant menace. What sacred Ron the most was the talk. Talk of perfectly reasonable people, discussing the "Mutant Problem" and how they should be dealt with.

_String me up from atop these roofs  
Knot it tight so I won't get loose  
_

Ron shook his head, and concentrated on what the agent was saying.

"On one hand the government has an obligation to protect its citizens from threats, external, or internal, the public sees these mutants as a threat, and let's be honest here Mr. Stoppable, it's not incredibly difficult to see why."

"Of course I can see why people view muties as a threat. I'm mean come on, if half the stories are true, then there are muties out their that can shoot lasers from their eyes, turn everyday objects into bombs, control the weather, walk through walls, even read minds. Hell I'm surprised that nothing has been done until now." Ron said as he leaned forward, taking a sip of his beer.

_Truth is you can stop and stare  
Run myself out and no one cares  
_

"On the other hand," Agent Matt Smith continued from where Agent Joe Smith left off, "the potential of Mutants, and the fact that their numbers are increasing at a fairly consistent rate…"

"Yeah, you should really stop selling them Viagra." Ron quipped, interrupting Agent Matt's flow.

The two Agents Smiths glared at Ron, as Agent Matt continued. "…anyway, since their numbers are increasing governments are finding them under pressure by mutant lobbyist groups…"

"So now their petitioning? Great! We get another government agency that forces us to stand in line, while having to fill out several different forms, then stand in another line! No more Bureaucrats! I have to deal with enough of them when I go for my driving exams. 'You can't drive on the sidewalk,' 'you have to stay in your lane' 'hitting an old woman crossing the street does not earn you fifty points.'"

_Dug a trench out, laid down there  
With a shovel up out of reach somewhere  
Yeah someone pour it in  
Make it a dirt dance floor again_

"Mr. Stoppable are you quite through?"

Ron nodded sheepishly as Agent Joe glared at him. The hard eyes continued their challenging glare as Joe tossed a folder onto the table.

"This is were Weapon X, and more specifically Team-X comes into the picture."

Agent Joe opened the file and slide it over to Ron who glanced over it quickly. It soon became apparent as to what Team-X was for.

"Mutant hunters and covert black ops? And you want me to join? Why?"

"Mr. Stoppable, although most mutants have never shown an aggressive, or violent tendencies, we're no naïve enough to believe that all well intended like this, or all will be peaceful. Some will become violent, some will see humanity as much a threat to their existence, as they seem to us. Team-X is our response to that. Their mandate is simple: To track down and eliminate rogue mutants, before they become a threat to humanity."

_Say your prayers and stomp it out  
When they bring that chorus in  
_

"As to why we chose you," Agent Matt continued, "to tell you the honest truth Mr. Stoppable, we first approached your old team leader, Ms. Kimberly Possible. But she would have nothing to do with us."

Ron's heart fluttered at Kim's name. It had been a long time since Ron had seen her, much less talked to her. Over three years now. Yet even now Ron could still smell her hair, the faint wafting smell of strawberries, he could still see her round emerald eyes, he could still hear the sweet, honey sound of her laughter, Ron could still taste her soft lips, and could still feel the warmth of Kim's soft flesh.

_I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
_

"But you Mr. Stoppable, I think… I know that you will accept our offer."

Ron raised another eyebrow at Agent Matt's bold statement. "And what makes you think that I will be more approachable then Kim on this?"

_  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
Just to throw it away, just to throw it away  
_

Agent Joe leaned. "We know you will accept our offer, because of three reasons. First, we are promising you a steady paycheck, something that your previous employers could never offer you."

Ron thought this over, before admitting that yes it was true, he was often paid by job, and jobs weren't always available. Plus his treatments were expensive. Another reason why he left, his parents were not rich, and they had baby Hannah to care for, and Ron was not going to sacrifice his baby sister future, for a less then six percent chance of survival.

_I bleed it out, go, stop the show  
Choppy words in a sloppy flow_

"Reason number two." Agent Joe continued, "you were a hero once, and though I'm sure you enjoy these… odd jobs that you do, I would bet everything I own that they just don't give you that same filling your missions with Ms. Possible did, and I'm willing to bet you loved that feeling."

_Well that's not totally true_. Ron thought to himself. Though he did enjoy the feeling of helping people, he went on the missions more for Kim, then anything else.

_Shotgun, I pull, lock and load  
Cock it back and then watch it go_

"Finally we can offer you something that no one else could."

"And that would be what? A night with Megan Fox?"

Agent Joe shook his head. "No Mr. Stoppable. If you take our offer I can guarantee you that we can cure your cancer."

_Mama help me I've been cursed  
Death is rolling in every verse  
Candy paint on his brand new Hearse  
Can't contain him he knows he works  
_

Ron sat there stunned. It was impossible. The doctors had only given him five to six years at best with only six percent chance of making past ten years. Nothing could be done. Ron knew that, and for these men to waltz in and say they could do something, well that just infuriated him."It's true Mr. Stoppable." Agent Matt confirmed, noticing Ron's hands shaking with anger. "What my colleague claimed is no lie. We acquired certain DNA that contained a Healing Factor from one of our operatives, and have a geneticist, whose specialty is in gene-splicing, a Dr. Amy Hall, AKA DNAmy. I do believe you have met her before haven't you?"

Ron nodded with out really paying attention to what was being said. With his cancer gone, he could return to Kim, they could get back together, get married, have children, and live a life. Ron would never have to worry about waste away in front of Kim while she looked on helplessly.

_Fuck this hurts, I wont lie  
Doesn't matter how hard I try_

Ron looked up and straight into the eyes of Agent Joe. "Agent Joe, you have a deal."

Agent Joe smiled as he reached into his back pocket and tossed Ron a Canadian passport, and an Airline ticket.

"Congratulations Mr. Stoppable, you are now a Canadian citizen. Your plane leaves tomorrow afternoon, which will take you to Edmonton Alberta, from there a driver will pick you up and bring you to the Weapon-X facilities in Northern Alberta, so be sure to pack for A Canadian winter."

_Half the words don't mean a thing  
And I know that I won't be satisfied  
_

Ron stood up and offered his hand to Agent Matt, then to Agent Joe. As Agent Joe clasped his hand he looked Ron straight in the eyes.

"Mr. Stoppable, I will warn you now that you are probably in for the most painful experience of your life."

_**Ron was strapped onto the operating table, while DNAmy lowered the operating device. Pain exploded all over Ron's body as two dozen different needles plunged into body. While scalpels and saws cut into his flesh. DNAmy looked on, while a dozen scientists checked machines and computers. Everything was going as planned.**__  
_

_So why try ignoring him?  
Make it a dirt dance floor again_

"Nor can I guarantee that you will survive the process."

"_**Damn it were loosing him! Get his pulse stabilized!" **_

_**Ron's head swam as he heard the cry of "CLEAR!" His body shuttered and spasmed as electricity coursed through his chest, in an effort to restart his heart.**_

_Say your prayers and stomp it out  
When they bring that chorus in  
_

"And to tell you the honest to God's truth, the process might not even work the way we want it to."

_**Ron could feel it. His newly acquired healing factor wasn't curing his cancer. It was spreading the rapidly decaying skin cells all over his body. Though he was never a "hottie" he was still good looking. The healing factor had changed all that, before it stopped working, scaring his face, and leaving disfiguring pockmarks. While his dirty blonde hair fell away in ragged clumps. **__  
_

_I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
Just to throw it away, just to throw it away_

"Nor can I really promise that you'll keep your sanity."

_**Ron knew they were out there. The seventeen fan-fic fans reading the story that the lazy, good for nothing author had written. What depressed Ron even more was that of his seventeen, club jacket wearing, fans only a few would review. Leaving him to rot and wallow in misery as a failed experiment in Weapon-X's prison lab. **_

_I bleed it out  
I've opened up these skies  
I'll make you face this  
I pulled myself so far  
I'll make you face this now  
_

"But I will tell you this…"_  
_

_**Worm stared blankly at Ron, a bit of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. Ron shuddered in horror. Though he had seen many things in this prison, this was by far one of the worst. **_

_**Worm had been Ron's friend, hell, Worm had been his only friend, now that friend was nothing more then an empty shell. They had lobotomized him!**_

"_**How can anyone be so cruel as to let someone suffer this living death?" Death whispered to Ron. **_

"_**Please Ron, don't let him suffer anymore. Give him the peace of death."**_

_**Ron nodded as he grabbed Worm by his neck, and twisted. "Sorry buddy."**_

_I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
Just to throw it away, just to throw it away  
_

"If everything goes as planned…"

_**Ron's execution had been successful. The man who had been the favoured to win the prisons Dead Pool was dead. As Ajax smiled at his tormentor who now lay strapped to the bed, dead, He noticed something. A slight twitch in the left arm.**_

_**Oh God…**_

_**Stoppable was still alive!**_

_**The healing factor had kicked in, saving Ron from Death, pulling him away from his salvation and his love.**_

_**Now Ron…**_

_**No...**_

_**Now Deadpool lived for one reason. To burn this hell to the ground.**_

_I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away  
Just to throw it away, just to throw it away_

"You'll be damned near unstoppable."

_**Bullets struck Deadpool in the chest and head, but he paid them no heed as he ruthless cut down the sadistic guards. His wounds healing almost instantly as he tracked his prey.**_

"_**Here Frances, come here boy. Oh come on Fran, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm only going to eviscerate you, then use your intestines for a jump rope while I leave you her to burn."**_

_**Flames leapt up as the building slowly burned to the ground. In the swirling snow of Northern Canada, single disfigured survivor walked out of the burning wreckage. A red and black mask hiding his identity, and his horrid looks.**_

_I bleed it out  
I bleed it out  
I bleed it out_

_**In the flames of Dr. Kimberly's Workshop, the Merc-with-the-Mouth had been born.**_

* * *

There we go, something to look forward to after I finish the three stories I have going *Sigh*. Anyway the song is Bleed it Out by Linkin Park, which fits Deadpool so well.

I will be relying mostly on the comics, but here and there I will put some of the new movie in. So read review and enjoy.


End file.
